urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity monika monika 2005-05-18T18:29:24Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:25691 2005-05-18T18:29:24Z 2005-05-18T18:29:24Z <small>i want myself back. <br />anxiety attack numero gazillion.<br />i think i want to dance tonight and get it all back.<br />especially myself.<br />its the oddest thing.<br /><br />limony snicket rules.</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:24484 2005-05-07T19:30:36Z 2005-05-07T19:30:36Z <small>it kind of makes me laugh.<br />i bought a sundress. its good.<br />ugh. fiiine.</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:24234 2005-05-06T02:59:41Z 2005-05-06T02:59:41Z <small>you strangers stop<br />giving me candy.</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:23841 2005-05-03T19:35:46Z 2005-05-03T19:35:46Z <small>i am too needy and it is horrible.<br />i feel like a puddle <br />one that mud touches<br />and the water gets all swirly with dirtyness<br />that dirt mud thing isnt about sadness or oppression or anything its cause i havent showered.<br />and the puddle part is because i feel weak.<br />and slippery.<br />dirty puddle that smells bad.<br />focusing is hard when you are a puddle<br />now i dont believe anything i think<br />its hard.<br />i am going to be reclusive for a while. <br />get rid of people. <br />i feel like they dont like me <br />and pretend the whole time.<br />why doesnt anyone care about anything?<br />why do passionate people not exist?<br />why do cant i dull myself into it?<br />shut up whiner. <br />whiny dirty smelly puddle.<br /><br />something fell off <br />of the shelf inside of her</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:23599 2005-05-02T03:26:29Z 2005-05-02T03:26:29Z <small>my hands are really cold</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:23528 2005-04-29T20:48:04Z 2005-04-29T20:48:04Z <small>my roomate got our gas turned off<br />i'd really like to take a shower, i feel gross.<br />i finally get a friday off, the first one ever since sweet tooth, and everyone abandons me.<br />i feel sad.<br />i had sushi last night though, that was awesome.<br /><br />two papers two exams and i am done.<br />DONEeeeeeeee</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:23097 2005-04-28T02:13:12Z 2005-04-28T02:13:12Z <small>today was the day of the latent throw up feeling<br />because i am crazy.<br />but i am a crazy size four.<br />which was like, whaaaa?<br />ow.<br />tomorrow is the last day of school<br />happy last day of school!<br />i feel sick<br /><br />soporific = me</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:22961 2005-04-26T07:16:34Z 2005-04-26T07:16:34Z <small>taking a 8 hour nap in the afternoon<br />isnt a good idea.<br />why dont english teachers hit on students like they do in the movies?<br />so now i just need to focus and get all this shit done<br />i kept having these dreams of mundane occurances, like telling vanessa that we would go to class tomorrow. <br />this movie is so stupid i updated my livejournal during it.<br /><br />come home! i am lonely.</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:22679 2005-04-25T03:11:35Z 2005-04-25T03:11:35Z <small>last week of hard.<br />critical mass on friday<br />ryan is home<br />craziness and blockbuster<br />talk to me natalie!<br /><br />life.</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:22314 2005-04-20T03:14:00Z 2005-04-20T03:14:00Z <small>natalie's pictures make me jealous, i want nice hair again<br />my family is cccrazy.<br />i am now an accepted english major<br />i am being pumped full o' hormones to replace the ones i lack<br />thanks to my pituitary.<br />i lost my glasses<br />my dog burns the grass when he pees<br />i drank two containers of green tea today<br />ate an english muffin, an orange, chinese and two slices of pizza<br />which seems like a lot to me?<br />i saw diana which was really nice and she ate the mushrooms out of my chinese<br />dodgeball tomorrow, i am impressed that i have five friends<br />lets see how long this takes.<br />my poetry got rejected.<br />i keep having mood swings<br />harry potter soon.<br />i love my bike.<br />i didnt get any TAPP money<br />but <br />it is spring and that makes it easier to forget that i am a raving lunatic, my sister hates me, my boyfriend tolerates me, i have no money and i keep bursting into tears unprovoked.<br />but i am good with chopsticks. i can eat rice with them.</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:22193 2005-04-17T07:24:03Z 2005-04-17T07:24:03Z <small>i really do love waking up when it is like this</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:21878 2005-04-15T17:28:46Z 2005-04-15T17:28:46Z <small>i got so much sleep last night<br />and i am starving.</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:21749 2005-04-12T20:34:02Z 2005-04-12T20:34:02Z <small>i feel like throw-up. on so many levels.<br />in other news, i want to quit school and marry someone wealthy<br />i guess i dont belong here.</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:21252 2005-04-10T23:22:46Z 2005-04-10T23:22:46Z <small>today was wonderful.<br />midnight bike ride this evening... come.</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:21062 2005-04-07T20:53:59Z 2005-04-07T20:53:59Z <small>i am allll over the place.</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:20806 2005-04-05T17:25:12Z 2005-04-05T17:25:12Z <small>no phone no light no motorcar not a single luxury<br />not even a bike. <br /><br />the other day i woke up to peter's screams emitting from the bathroom. there was water everywhere and the sink's pipe had broken, so there was boiling hot water running everywhere and since our plumbing is really old we could not figure out how to shut off the water. the basement ceiling under the bathroom floor began to leak, so it looked like it was raining in our basement. then we had to go to value and peter fixed it. so that day was really exciting.<br /><br />i had the most fun out the other night than i have ever had before. <br />with love.<br />sass</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:20663 2005-03-31T18:44:21Z 2005-03-31T18:44:21Z <small>i have two funny stories in my life currently that i plan on telling everyone, i bet i will tell some people it a million times-----<br />but yesterday maia and i went to the playground. it was a nice day and we took a walk and looked at flowers and bought gumballs on the way. we got there and a slew of toddlers were milling about, all of them participants in some sort of nursery school. so we decided to play on the monkey bars, on the animal springy things and in the sandbox- standard playground procedure. we made a sandcastle and just as maia removed the molding bucket from our architectural acheivement this snot nosed little girl stomped on it. i was in awe. i calmly asked, why would you do that? would you like me to do that do your sandcastle? she ignored my questions and tried to steal our bucket and our shovel. <br />i was able to maintain composure, although i was creeped out and surprised. this little girl finally left and maia and went on to bigger and better things- a double upturned bucket shaped sandcastle. however, this time as we were admiring our work (for about five seconds, mind you) a sketchy looking blond girl with curly hair and a blue hood jumped on our sandcastle. (!!!) <br />she simply ran away from our sad and shocked faces. at this juncture, i felt that little children were weird, and i was glad to no longer be one. so maia and i (in peace) made our third and final sandcastle. we kept it simple, having learned our lesson not to flaunt towers in these toddlers faces. but this time, after we finished the aforementioned sandcastle, a little boy with a squishy head and a hoodie on jumped on our newly restored castle. maia just looked at me with the saddest eyes i have ever seen that seemed to say 'why, monika, why? why wont these children let me build a sandcastle?' so i, infuriated, said to this kid- 'that was NOT a nice thing to do, why would you ruin our sandcastle? we didnt go over to your sandcastle and step on it.' to which he replied 'my mommy told me to" and ran away.</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:20370 2005-03-29T02:08:25Z 2005-03-29T02:08:25Z <small> revisit old music and feel good.<br />im kinda tired and i feel like i should have<br />some things to say but i dont. <br />except i like the magnetic fields still<br />and most things i used to like i still do<br />but i like one especially most.</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:20170 2005-03-24T23:42:58Z 2005-03-24T23:42:58Z <small>sometimes i wonder if anything will sustain me</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:19741 2005-03-22T15:46:59Z 2005-03-22T15:46:59Z <small>well, the coal mines smell bad. <br />l'chaim cough i mean spring!</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:19591 2005-03-20T06:37:43Z 2005-03-20T06:37:43Z <small>i want you to have them.<br />if you want better things.<br />weekly saturday night vigil and<br />stayupaslateasican.<br />cleaning and listening<br />tennis elbow from scooping ice creammmmmmmmmm<br />ugh we are switching to byrne dairy instead of perrys and<br />it sucks.<br />i QUIT</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:19300 2005-03-18T02:47:41Z 2005-03-18T02:47:41Z <small>i cut my hair again!</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:18954 2005-03-16T06:13:23Z 2005-03-16T06:13:23Z <small>today was one of those days i am not sure about but some things are just right in front of me reminders. thinking oh yes this is why i am here and this is what i want. but how long will it last until it gives out like a table. i would like to fold you away and keep it fresh but i know someday it will be gone and that day i will be done. for now it is cheek kisses and red chapped lips i wish would heal. for now it is glue on my fingers and this spring break smells like cinnamon rolls, crayons, cereal rice formula, mornings, peanut butter frozen yogurt, raw fish, chocolate soymilk and bathed babies. cheeks and teeth and lips and noises. and me, frigid in closing myself off tightly shower after shower. i will listen outside your door until you wake up then debate on whether or not to enter; cooing softly and tiptoeing each precious step.</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:18733 2005-03-13T05:53:17Z 2005-03-13T05:53:17Z <small>so i was walking home tonight after my 13 hour workday down this alley at midnight and i had my defensive freak out reply all ready for if in case i was accosted.</small> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:girlnamedcity:18513 2005-03-10T23:29:03Z 2005-03-10T23:29:03Z <small>ow.<br />i am busy and tired and owing<br />but its nice anyways.<br />i wonder what the nutritional value of duck sauce is</small>